


All of My Years are for Me and You

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Because I can, Canon-typical discussions of violence, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Soulmates, i took a soulmates prompt and made a sad, implied Fin/Munch, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Soulmates can give each other years' of their lives. Unfortunately, not all soulmates respect the possibility.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 99
Collections: Barisi Soulmate Bingo





	All of My Years are for Me and You

They're at home when the call comes. Sonny answers the phone, and Rafael watches anger and despair slide over his face. Sonny ends the call and crosses himself, closing his eyes for a brief prayer. 

"They stopped Stephanie's life support. She's gone."

Rafael drops his legs off the couch so he can slide down to the other end and pull Sonny in close. He presses a kiss to Sonny's temple and strokes his hair slowly. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. 

Sonny shudders and wraps his arms around Rafael's waist. "It's not right," he says.

"I know," Rafael replies.

"It's not--there shouldn't--" Sonny hiccups and presses his forehead into Rafael's shoulder. "You need to add a murder charge," he says.

"Shhh," Rafael soothes, running his hands up and down Sonny's back. "We'll take care of it tomorrow."

Sonny sniffles and curves himself even closer to Rafael. He cries almost silently, shoulders and ribcage shaking with grief. 

Rafael holds onto him and closes his eyes. This case has been hitting Sonny hard since the beginning. He's had no trouble admitting that to Rafael. 

*

"I mean, come on, this one's gonna hurt. She met her soulmate the same day I met mine," Sonny says, pausing in his chopping to press a quick kiss to Rafael's cheek. 

"Please tell me we don't have the same wedding date, too," Rafael replies as he steals a piece of carrot from the cutting board. 

"Thankfully, no. I might not actually be able to handle it all if that were true." Sonny finishes chopping the carrots and puts down the knife. He wipes his hands on the towel he has tucked in his waistband, then turns until he's facing Rafael completely. He reaches out a hand and reels Rafael in, tucking his thumb under Rafael's chin so it's at the perfect angle to kiss him on the lips. "These sorts of cases have always hit me, but now…" he kisses Rafael, then presses their foreheads together. "I don't know how you can look at the kind of gift a soulmate can give you and only see something to take."

Rafael curls one hand at Sonny's waist. The other, he splays over Sonny's heart, not caring that it's a bit dramatic. "Do you want me to rattle off the stats? Would it help?"

Sonny snorts in wry amusement. "No, it would not help," he says, waspish but fond. He nips at Rafael's nose, then slowly lets him go. He smiles when Rafael doesn't step away. "I ever tell you my ma gave my dad a year?"

Rafael smiles fondly. "Yeah, but tell me again."

"He had a heart attack at forty-eight. It was a big one," Sonny starts, the same way he always starts the story. "The doctors were afraid he wouldn't last the night. Ma walked in, poked him until he was awake enough to respond, and said, 'You're taking a year, and you're gonna like it.' Dad tried to tell her he didn't need it, and she told him, 'Look, Dominick, a year's nothing, all right? But the next thirty or forty without you because you drop dead tonight? That's not gonna work for me, so take the fucking year, or I'll find a way to make you.' So, Dad took it. He says it was the roughest year of his life, coming back from that heart attack, but he'll never not be grateful Ma gave up one of _hers_ so _they_ could have thirty more."

Sonny's a little teary-eyed when he finishes the story. He always is. He wraps his arms around Rafael's shoulders and gives him a hug. "I'd give you a year," he whispers into Rafael's hair. 

Rafael presses a kiss to Sonny's neck. He's never been able to promise Sonny the same, not in words. But Sonny knows, and he's grateful.

*

The next morning, Rafael drafts the amended charges against Stephanie's husband. Under assault, rape, kidnapping, forced imprisonment, and theft of years, he adds first degree murder.

"First?" Carmen asks as she proofreads for him. "You're sure?"

"She was twenty-six," Rafael replies. "When the detectives took her to the hospital, her age test came back as ninety-two. He knew it'd kill her. He didn't care."

Carmen nods. "You want second degree in there just to be sure?"

Rafael thinks of Sonny's grief last night. He thinks of the wedding photo of Stephanie, beautiful and bright and so fucking young. He thinks of the woman he visited in the hospital, so frail her skin was translucent on the backs of her hands. "No," he says. "I'm not giving the jury an easy out."

"Okay. First it is." 

*

Sonny and Rafael attend Stephanie's funeral. Her sister comes up and thanks Sonny for all he did.

"She went to the police previously," Stephanie's sister says, "But they said that they couldn't prove he violated the restraining order just on her word since they couldn't prove he'd bought the phone the call was made from. I'm so glad you were there for her, Detective Carisi. I'm glad someone finally _listened_."

Rafael bites the inside of his cheek to keep from swearing. Sonny gives condolences again and accepts Stephanie's mother's hug. 

"She didn't mention she'd been to the police before," Sonny says as they sit in the backseat of their Lyft on the way home. "She said she'd gotten the restraining order, but not going back. Not--" He turns and stares out the window, but Rafael can see his reflection. The angry grief on his face makes Rafael's breath catch in his chest. 

He doesn't have words to help, not right now, so instead, he takes Sonny's hands and simply holds on.

*

Munch gives Rafael one of his entirely too see-through looks over the edge of his glasses. "You want me to figure out--out of all the cops in the borough--the ones a dead woman talked to in the four months between her getting a protective order and her dying in a hospital because her soulmate was an abusive piece of shit who coerced her literal life from her?"

"You're a DA's investigator, Munch. Investigate."

Munch huffs a tired laugh and holds out his hand. "Give me the file."

Rafael hands it over. "Feel free not to be polite."

Munch cuts him a sharp grin. "Oh, I wasn't planning to."

*

Sonny comes home from Mass that Sunday and looks lighter than he has all week. He presses a kiss to Rafael's temple, murmurs a quiet hello, and simply holds Rafael for a few moments. Rafael holds him in return, glad as always that the act of going to services takes some of the weight off of Sonny. 

"I lit a candle for Stephanie after services," Sonny says.

Rafael knows that Sonny's been stopping off and lighting a candle for Stephanie every night since she came into the station, pale and brittle and shaking from the effort to stand up straight. "Did it help?" Rafael asks, although he already knows the answer. Sonny wouldn't mention if it hadn't.

"I felt something lift," Sonny says.

"I'm glad," Rafael replies, and they don't need to say anything more about it for the moment.

*

Munch is decidedly not nice, and Rafael won't pretend he isn't enjoying some of the annoyed phone calls he's getting from Desk Sergeants and Lieutenants. No one's particularly angry, just making the usual noise of cops who are _offended_ that a DA would send "one of their own" to investigate them.

"You're going to be shocked when you learn about IAB," Rafael replies each time someone actually uses the phrase "one of their own." One Lieutenant groans in tired agreement. Two Sergeants laugh. Everyone else gets even more annoyed. Rafael makes a list of the ones who get pissier and files it away for later. Maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe one of them will prove to be as unconcerned as the cops Munch is tracking down. Rafael wants to be ready to track their behavior, just in case. 

*

Sonny falls asleep on Rafael as they watch a baseball game the next Saturday. He's been sleeping well enough, he's promised Rafael, but Rafael's still not surprised Sonny's out like a light. Sleeping's one thing. Getting rest is another. 

Rafael's phone dings softly as he hisses in disappointment as the third baseman misses a jumping line drive. That's going to cost the Mets at least one run. He picks up his phone as the announcers start a sponsorship spiel and the missed catch is shown on replay. 

It's a photo text from Munch. In the foreground, a photo of him and Fin at a coffee cart. In the background, the sixth precinct. Two men stand on the steps behind Fin and Munch, their silver shields marking them as plainclothes officers. 

Another text follows it. 

**Munch:** Walsh and Bloucher. Their lieutenant's been making excuses for them all week. Fin sent them an anonymous email fifteen minutes ago claiming he knows how they helped get Stephanie killed. Told them to meet him outside. They came out like their asses are on fire.

Rafael looks down at the top of Sonny's head. He combs his fingers through Sonny's hair and sends a brief thank you to Munch for his work. It's possible nothing will come from it; with their lieutenant backing them, Walsh and Bloucher may be able to skate by on a warning for ignoring a victim in distress. But they'll know the names now. It's a start. 

*

A card arrives from Stephanie's parents. On the outside is a delicate pencil drawing of St. Michael the Archangel. On the inside, is a handwritten note:

_Detective Carisi:_

_Thank you for your compassion and the help you gave our daughter in her last days. May St. Michael help and bless you as you help and bless others who may find themselves in Stephanie's place._

It's signed by Stephanie's parents. Rafael watches a small, touched smile slip across Sonny's face. He takes the card when Sonny holds it out and looks at the front of it. "It's a beautiful drawing," Rafael says. 

Sonny nods and unabashedly wipes tears from his eyes. "It is."

*

Munch calls three days later. He's managed to corner Walsh and Bloucher at a deli and he’s laid out the evidence he's found. The cell triangulation that gives them a ten-block radius for where the call to Stephanie's phone came from. The security footage Munch pulled from a bodega within those ten blocks shows Stephanie's husband buying a burner phone an hour before the call. 

"They want to talk to you," Munch says. "They're very concerned that TARU somehow _missed_ their request for triangulating that number."

Rafael hums in consideration. "Well, if they emailed, called, left a message, or sent a fax, I trust TARU can prove it."

Munch's laugh has an edge of meanness that Rafael can appreciate. "You want anything from the deli?"

"Just those two delivered here, please."

"I'll see you in half an hour, Barba."

*

"You what?" Sonny asks, face slack in shock as Rafael tells him they've found the cops who didn't help Stephanie.

"Their names are Walsh and Bloucher," Rafael continues, rather than repeat himself. "Out of the sixth. I had Munch drop our evidence with Tucker to hand off to whoever works that station for IAB. Chances of finding out they committed a criminal act are pretty unlikely, but there'll be a record of why they were investigated. Maybe they won't fuck up like this again, but in case they think they can, it'll be something."

Sonny looks like he might fall on his face. He grips the kitchen counter with a white-knuckle grip. "Rafael," he says quietly. Tears stream down his face. "Rafael. I...you didn't--why?"

Rafael reaches up and cups Sonny's face in his hands. "Because she met her soulmate on the same day as I did," he says.

Sonny pulls Rafael to him in a crushing hug, and Rafael returns it. "I would give you a year of my life," Sonny says. "I'd give you all of them."

"I'd give them back," Rafael says into Sonny's shoulder, but he knows Sonny believes him because of how much tighter his hug gets.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, M, for your usual beta work!
> 
> For Soulmates bingo. Who'd have thought I'd do any sort of angst?? Not me.


End file.
